Keith Allen Davis

I really need to start taking stand-up seriously if I want to continue doing it. Getting drunk and then getting on-stage with a half-ass routine that I half-ass remember isn’t really working.

Check out my nonsense: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFvSPQhv44Y

anthonybergen:

keithallendavis:

taramarie:

Oh, so you’re worked up about Balloon Boy jokes because that’s just distasteful?

Okay. Great. So what are you doing right now? Oh, you’re playing on the internet. And now you’re chastising people for joking about something that, let’s be honest, is a little comical? A giant jiffy pop is flying… You know what? I’m gonna giggle. Tell me the little boy that is possibly in said balloon is named Falcon and I will laugh until tears come out of my eyes. It’ll be a sad situation if he’s dead, but let me tell you something else, kids die everyday from horrible things. Things like poverty, bombs, disease, and abuse, just to name a few. Maybe you should get off of your high horse and the internet and put some effort into those kids.

If we stopped laughing at things because they were distasteful, what the fuck would we laugh at?

Hi.  Hey, Taramarie…I like a lot of the things you write and post.  I really do.  I don’t know you personally, but you seem great.  This isn’t personal, OK?

You are a fucking hypocrite.

See, I made a tasteless post a while back that you guys can read right here.  I admit that it was terrible and mean-spirited and completely uncalled for, but that’s what I do a lot of times.  I write terrible, mean-spirited, uncalled for things that some people find reprehensible and some people find funny.  I don’t believe any of those things because it’s just humor.  Not everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s humor.

And after I posted that, Taramarie, you reblogged it and, among other comments, added this:

This is for you Anthony, whoever you are:

I’m sure you’ve heard this all before, but you deserve to hear my little rant on your lack of feelings. You, sir, are a cunt. You deserved to have the shit beat out of you. Those men go through something you can’t even begin to imagine, (unless you’ve been there yourself, and if you have, feel free to enlighten us on how you came out to be such a fucking ray of sunshine) and to mock it is sick. I’m probably not the first person that has felt the need to beat the shit out of you and I probably won’t be the last. You need to grow the fuck up and learn some goddamned respect.

That goes for anyone mocking this. You are fucking cowards hiding behind a stupid computer screen.

I didn’t make anything of it at the time because, hey, it’s a sensitive subject.  Most people didn’t appreciate what I posted.  Fine.  Because of some people’s reactions, though, I made a facetious apology that continued to poke fun because, well, I’m an asshole sometimes.

Later that night, I wrote something about the hypocrites who are laugh at some terrible things, but think things that are close to them should be off-limits.  Oddly enough, it basically covered the same points that you made above.  Oddly enough, we actually hold the same viewpoint…at least now.

But you’re a fucking hypocrite.  “If we stopped laughing at things because they were distasteful, what the fuck would we laugh at?” Yes, very good point.  Except, when I wrote something that hit a little too close to home for you, I was a “cunt” who “deserved to have the shit beat of you”.  Why?  Because I wrote about a soldier instead of a lost little kid?  Why are little kid jokes funny?  Because they’ve only been around a few years and haven’t given people enough time to love them long enough?  Because they can just be replaced easily?  I think it’s a hell of a lot worse to make fun of an innocent little kid’s possible death than a soldier WHO FUCKING VOLUNTEERED TO RISK GETTING HIS FUCKING FACE BURNED OFF BY PEOPLE TRYING TO DEFEND THEIR HOME COUNTRY.

Yeah, I agree.  We shouldn’t put limits on what we laugh at.  But you shouldn’t point fingers or call people out, Taramarie.  Why?  Because you’re the worst kind of hypocrite…the type that doesn’t even remember what she was upset at in the first place because she’s too busy trying to push her holier-than-thou point-of-view on a whole new set of people.

I don’t mind the things you post.  I’m sure you’re a lovely person.  But don’t you dare try to try to tell people that they shouldn’t laugh at something you find despicable and then turn around and chastise them for not thinking you should laugh at something they find despicable.

anthonybergen:

ANTHONY:  I like when you’re excited to see me.  It makes me feel important or special.  Not retarded-special, special-special.
ERICA:  Not like stop-eating-the-paste-special?
ANTHONY:  Not like Keith’s baby special.
ERICA:  I’m sure Keith’s baby will be very smart and very adorable.
ANTHONY:  And black.
ERICA:  sigh

Anthony, you’re an asshole and that is why we are friends. Erica, thank you for defending my unborn baby. 

inappropriateandtasteless:

Floating through the sky

You are a brave little guy

But I hope you died

anthonybergen:

Since the worldwide outbreak of HIV/AIDS into a full-blown epidemic in the 1980’s, the public has come to understand the reality of the disease and have become better-educated on its causes, its dangers, and its impact on families and communities in every country on the planet.  First thought of as something which affected mostly gay people and minorities, it has become clear that AIDS can reach people of any color, sexual preference, gender, or economic stature.  However, even now, as we quickly approach the second decade of the 21st Century, there are forgotten victims of this global epidemic.

Along with heterosexual females, children and Muslims are not immune to the ravages of HIV and AIDS.  While not heavily publicized, there are underground centers of gay life in certain Muslim countries where men secretly engage in quiet homosexual affairs.  These relationships are heavily concealed and most of the men return home to wives and children.  In the Muslim world, AIDS is a bigger threat than many people realize, and the harsh anti-gay sentiment in these countries doesn’t not prevent the spread of the disease.  As for heterosexual females and children, it is not only in poor African countries that AIDS reached every type of population.  Populous countries such as the United States, China, Russia, and India (among others) have serious problems with controlling the spread of the deadly virus.

However, there is one group whom people almost always leave out when discussing the impact of HIV and AIDS on specific communities.  It seems ridiculous in hindsight because of the obvious dangers that these people expose themselves to.  Yet, even in developed, wealthy countries, these people are often ignored, forgotten, and even discriminated against.  We need to come together and recognize this problem and hopefully fashion a solution to slow down the epidemic among this group.

The group I am talking about is, of course, vampires.  Yes, vampires.  Vampires need to be educated about HIV and AIDS so that they can understand the dangers that they are vulnerable to.  While it is well-known that vampires do practice safe sex, they do not practice safe blood-sucking.  It is our duty as fellow citizens of this world to bring vampires up to speed on this threat to their survival.  The days of vampires living eternally have deteriorated to flocks of these once-proud people losing weight and dying of pneumonia before they turn 150 years old.  Many vampires have eschewed their traditional capes for plush bathrobes and boxes of heavy-duty band-aids.

My friends, this is something that we can fix.  We must educate vampires on the dangers of AIDS and we must make it clear who has HIV or AIDS so that vampires avoid these people when they seek blood.  My solution is simple and not-at-all humiliating:  I believe that people who are HIV positive or suffering from full-blown AIDS should be forced to wear large black hard hats with a red “X” painted on top.  Some might say that this is embarrassing to the victims of this sad disease, but the other option is the eventual extinction of vampires.  Is that what we want?  No more “Twilight” books?  No more Anne Rice novels?  No.  Think of the impact that would have on our world, particularly the high standards of American literature.  We must literally brand HIV and AIDS victims so that vampires can once again reach the healthy heights of the 15th Century.

I ask you to join me in this quest to save the forgotten victims of the AIDS epidemic.

Fuck you. https://twitter.com/KeithAllenDavis

aziiiza:

Wow. I’ve never met a shittier person.

Technically, we have never met.  

iamthespider:

http://www.wikihow.com/Say-the-Letter-S-(for-People-Who-Have-Lisps)

 I wish I could send you back in time so that you’d have to pick cotton and suck Thomas Jefferson’s dick.

Slunt.